Those small details

Me; ...... and the chest board was really smooth. I used to love smelling it and touching it with the palm of my hand or running my fingers up and down the edges. So smooth, you know, and between every square, there was a small crack. I love it! And the smell Steve, ... it was so old and antique, and....

Steven; Luu, you know, you talk like a child!

me; Hmmm....

And that simple, short sentence got me thinking...

Its not that I'm like a child! Its just that I pay attention to everything. I observe everything and let my self drown in that everything. Get involved in that everything. I become that everything and start to become part of it.

I become the crack on my wall, The dust on our old clock, i grow throughout the grains of soil in my garden, i become the smell of the rattan furniture that we used to have, the particles of skin on my boyfriends body, the food stuck between our furniture, the mold growing on it...

I just become part of it and grow along with it. Whenever there is a change, I not only see it, I feel it! It changes me!

When I see things, I am able to differentiate it from its surroundings. The crack in the clock is a crack, not a part of the clock. They are two very different things!

Well for me it is!

I don't have many friends due to this. I tend to spend too long on one topic. I focus on it, deep into it beyond the surface. Travel and loose myself into it.

Thats why I have a blog, 2 actually!! I have too much to hold inside, and would love to share it to someone.

Maybe there is someone just like me out there...

Am I a child??

No,

I am sure I don't act like one...

Or do I????

NO SERIOUSLY, I AM NOT!

Being a daddy's girl doesn't make me a kid!

Ohh,,, Steven, look what you have done!!

You have got me thinking!!!

I spent days and night thinking and wondering why nobody thinks like me..

UNTIL I CAME ACROSS THIS

Bill Bryson.

My dad gave his book to me and thought that I might like it. I thought, Ah, why not!

But gosh,  The Life and Times of the Thunderbolt Kid! (the title) is just 

how I picture myself.

He wrote this book based on him growing up in the 50's. Yeah I know I didn't grow up in the 50's, but he sure pays attention to the details.

He remembers the smell, texture, taste and colour of particular things. He remembers the layouts and the cracks in those buildings that he used to cross. He remembers how many tins of soup were lined up on the shelves!

All my life, I have never met anyone that is like me.

The way he describes certain things in his book, unimportant to everyone else- is just how I tell my stories and feelings to my friends..

You know what, maybe i am a child after all. A child that never grows up!! and never will!!

I might still live in my imagination and dream land, but hey, I'm happy!!